Dear Star Savior,
Hi. I’m Kristin Davis, star of “Sex and the City.” There are rumors that I appear in a sex tape that was shot in 1992 and has been leaked online. Now, pictures from the video are all over the Internet, and people insist that the video and photos are of me, even though my representative has told them that’s not me. What should I do?
Dear Kristin,
There’s only one way to prove it’s not you in the sex tape: Shoot a sex tape now and release it online, so people can compare the tapes. For a good comparison, duplicate everything the girl does in the other sex tape. Since the other video was shot in 1992, you’ll need to have some technicians do an age-progression to bring the girl up to your current age. They’ll do it for free if you say the girl in the sex tape is missing. Just tell them she was last seen with a penis, and give them a penis description to put on milk cartons. After the sex tape is ready to go, schedule screenings at fine theaters like TomKat or Studs, which draw the kinds of guys who would focus only on identifying you. Think of them as a forensics team hired to spot DNA evidence on its way out.
The Star Savior
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