Dear Star Savior,
Hi. I’m Sean Combs, also known as P. Diddy or Puff Daddy. I’m being sued by a man who said I punched him at a party in Hollywood, but I recently explained to the court that I didn’t punch him. He came lunging at me, and I instinctively outstretched an open hand to shield myself. Any contact that happened was because he ran into my stationary open hand. My explanation makes sense, right?
Dear Diddy,
I think you should be more specific in your explanation. Go with this: “We all know what Einstein said about punch-out illusions, so I’ll skip the basics. The chemicals in this guy’s aftershave were drawn to the metals in my ring, so powerfully that it sent him sprinting jaw-first at my open hand, which didn’t move. I know it seemed like a perfect right hook with good follow-through, but that’s just the magic of science. And I only fled because the chemicals in my shoes repel jail.”
The Star Savior
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