Dog's N-word interview

Dear Star Savior,

Hi. It's Duane "Dog" Chapman again. I finally did an interview about those recorded phone conversations in which I repeatedly used the "N" word in a rant about my son's black girlfriend. Here's what I said in the interview: “I thought that I was cool enough in the black world to be able to use that word as a brother to a brother. I’m not. I didn’t know really know until three or four days ago what that meant to black people. I now learned I’m not black at all." I think that makes it clear that I'm not racist. What do you think??


Dear Dog,

You might be onto something. If people accept what you said about not knowing you were "not black at all," you'll be free to expand beyond N-Word Town. Just make sure to explain yourself properly. Here's a freebie to get you on your feet: "When I called that lady a b*tch, I meant it as a friendly word from one woman to another. In my 54 years, I never noticed that I had man parts flopping around down there. I grew up in a home where we never looked at ourselves below eye-level. No, I was never tipped off by all the standing urination or penetrative sex with my wife."

The Star Savior