Clay Aiken's coming-out

Dear Star Savior,

Hi. It's singer Clay Aiken. In a People magazine article, I announced that I'm gay. I decided to come out because I wasn’t raised to lie or hide things, and I can’t raise my son to do that. I may have turned off some of my fans, but I’ve gained a lot of support from gay groups and this was something I couldn’t keep hiding. What do you think?


Dear Clay,

It's great that you decided to publicly come out, especially since you've gained so much support from gay groups. But I think you've sold yourself short.

Since you made your coming-out all about the well-being of your baby, you turned your back on another major group: deadbeat dads. You could have gained the support of two groups at once by coming out and then running out on your kid.

But it's not too late to win deadbeat dads over. It’s just a matter of using another magazine article to announce that you’re ditching your son.

If you think it would be hard to run out on your son, you're wrong: There are way more places away from your kid than with him, so you really can't miss. Like they say, there's no place like home, so don't stay there.

I recommend using a classic child-abandonment story as an excuse to get out of the house. And if you have problems with being dishonest, don't worry. You don't have to lie to walk out on your kid.

For example, if you say you're going out for cigarettes, go out and actually buy a pack. On your way out of town, stop by the house and leave the receipt in the mailbox. If you start feeling guilty, leave the kid a few smokes.

If you say you're going out to grab a newspaper, go buy a newspaper at a gas station -- in Kenya. Mail your son the comics and a hint for the Jumble. He'll appreciate it down the road.

But there are options for bailing on your son without traveling. Here’s a tip: Call a missing-kids hotline to see if they know a kidnapper with an opening for a boy. When a kidnapper gets a kid from a referral, the pick-up is free.

Deadbeat dads need some good buzz, and this is your chance to make it happen. You can show how much deadbeat dads contribute to the world -- most of it.

The Star Savior